Lee's Artlog

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2003- I sometimes look back at the work I do and wonder exactly what went through my mind.  The Punisher movie (remake) was on its way out, and I was excited to see how they’d retool my favorite ‘superhero’.  The Punisher is just not that; That being, he’s not really a superhero as much as a vigilante. -Now that includes operating completely outside the law, up to and including killing people, acting judge, jury and executioner. A lot of it seems, so wrong now in retrospect, but at one point during the surge in crime during the 80′s and early 90′s I really related to Frank Castle and his lethal mentality.  Here is a man, driven by his convictions, and his rage and pain to do what he thinks is right.  No superpowers.  

The skull on his chest was used to inflict fear, but it also represented his desire to die, and be with his family who died horrible deaths at the hands of criminals. To devout Catholics, suicide would be a sin, and certainly in Frank’s mind, he’d go to Hell for that, so he decided to do something about his wrath and channel his pain.  – This was something I really related to for a long time.  I was depressed for over 10 years of my life. A part of me, just supressed my will and desire, passion and dreams, formalizing my individualism crooked downward. It took a long time to climb out of the hole and understand what took me there.  I had to really comprehend that there is really no ‘fairness’ in this world. There is what was done, and what has not been done. Looking too much at what’s not fair leaves you staring at the irony of what IS not done today, and before you know it, too many tomorrows pass you by.  

This piece was one that I had wanted to do for actually quite a long time. Developed completely out of my head, I was quite proud of the execution, with the minimalist environment. I wanted Frank to be as scarred as the war veteran he was, and his face to be as vacant as the harbinger of death he acted as. His uniform underwent a slight alteration. I squared off the skull a bit, and strengthened up the belt based on the original design.  His outfit became completely black including his gloves which were typically white.  It’s a stiff piece compositionally, but that’s actually how I wanted him. – A walking corpse. I may revisit this piece in the future, and recreate it cleaner and stronger since it hasn’t aged the best, but as it sits, and glares at me, it stirs emotions that I’m glad I’ve left behind.

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2006- The final of the 5 pieces that I did for the Hamlet bookcover project; Horatio, was a personality of stoic charm and this was how I interpreted his look.  Rendered in the Suumato style of charcoal that I had learned approximately a year or so earlier it took me roundabouts an hour to finish the piece.

 

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2006- It seemed that I had begun to upswing again in September of this year and let myself be consumed by my lust for artistic endeavor. I locked myself away in the house for 3 days, scribbling, drawing… feeling art.  I was illustrating the main characters from Hamlet, and this one, was the charcoal (suumato) drawing that would become Gertrude, Hamlet’s ‘grieving’ mother. I ended up doing 5 total illustrations in charcoal from Hamlet that weekend, and used them for a book cover idea. 

I have found so much to be motivated by recently by the part of me that is nauseated by the current trend of artists, who are cranked out by the consortium, with no knowledge or formal training. It seems to be an unfair shake that if one can use just the mouse, they needn’t know how to use a pencil or brush. This just troubles me, but in a sense it makes me more tenacious, and I dig my heels in to do things my way. 

I will reinvent the wheel. I will build art that defines and creates with style and design because everybody else I see is afraid to, or does not want to put the effort in to doing such. I will do these things not because I’m arrogant.  I will do these things because I can.