Lee's Artlog

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2008- On toned paper during Drawing Concepts I worked this piece out on chalk and charcoal in little under an hour of time. I paid close attention to slowly rendering the work accurately both in tone and in shape. The foot dances off the back end, towards the floor, releasing some of the energy downward in the piece- since otherwise the top carries a strong amount of power and color. The name was not really inspiring, as it is really a reference to the media I was using. Perhaps there would be a more positive tone to Chalk and Dust if I was working on a lighter paper, though that would probably defeat the purpose of the assignment.

A few days ago, a student stood in front of me in the lunch line with a friend. She remarked to her in a way that she thought I wouldn’t hear that I was a ‘know it all’.  I brushed it off initially, but it bothered me substantially through the week so much I was angered by the slightest thing, as I pondered this ignorant statement.  I believe that the more angry words make me, the more I fear that they are true, but I missed the underlying detail of her statement, – And I digress briefly to state that it doesn’t have to do with her beyond the generalized words of what she really said.  

A greater zen realization came to me as I multitasked in the ‘Millennial- Individualist’ sort of way recently. In a sense, I realized that I have made assumptions about other artists that I took for granted, and thought that they understood the general contexts, basic tenents, and concepts that I espouse. Do I look at the details in the foundations so closely that it becomes an ambigous shape thereby not understanding the greater object overall?

I believe art, in the most tantamount sense, is a means to self-creationism, and I believed that everybody was seeking this same goal of actualization and personal evolution.  To remove the basic elements of myself and explore them nakedly on the page through the media I devour,  - this seemed to be the only way to become.. me. I thought that all others subscribed or understood this notion as a process. I thought that all man strived to be better each day and to go beyond what you are, share our knowledge, and seek a truer path. I speak out in all things I do because I feel that we as artists should want to be noticed, both for what we compose and say.  The root of passion lies not in the final product, but in combination of that and then the ego that is heaved onto the canvas or left on the pallete, explained to the masses in both eloquence but also in simplicity. Beyond that without media application, voice or ego, you are an mute automaton, a sheep that will live in anomnimity forever- so to harass me about what I say or struggle to understand by asking, only reinforces not your ignorance, but your lack of passion and commitment to your trade.  I’d rather ardently believe with burning fervor in something, than seek the comforts of the unsaid, unheard, mute artist anyday. 

It seems so foreign to me to think otherwise, but I have struggled mightily with the concept that others in the world don’t think so passionately about what they do, as I.  I can accept that there are other ways of expressing it, or finding it, but not to look for it.. seems apathetic and lazy to me. So as others embrace their moot lot in life, I will continue to walk upwards- always upwards- with a hand to reach down to those below who wish to climb above the rest.  

 

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2008- More freedom to paint in a larger variety of hues was provided to me by my instructor Richard Houston in Composition and Painting during the 5th week of the second semester at Art Center. As usual I took an unusual approach to what I was doing, because I subscribe to the fact that I am the least likely to know what I am doing in this media. I like texture and bold contrasts. What was arrived at through this piece caused my instructor to remark that, “Lee marches to the beat of a different drum, and he doesn’t even have his I Pod on.” (He then promptly told me to redo my homework assignment.)  

In Enervation I embraced a very tight angle on the model, and a slackjawed expression in order to convey the fatigue I percieved from him.  The other students were all busy with full figure anatomical precision, while I was going after the textural emotion, the qualitive relationship of color, and the most direct manner to express the model’s obstanant weariness.  I started out very opaque and subdued, then worked my way up slowly, since I am a bit quixotic at this point with oil.  -Really, I just follow whatever ‘rabbit down the hole’ my mind perceives and trust where I am going compositionally. In the sense of the media, it is not so with oil for me in that degree. Oil painting is a new walking stick to me, and I do not completely trust the stick, -And quite often I use it in unorthodox manners that may be perceived as advanced or simply barbaric in the same sentence. At some point during Enervation I began to dabble in pointilism and gave the front of the face bolder tones to match the contrasted background. I worked a great deal with a dry brush and attempted to roll tones on top of one another to experimentally vary the results.

There are substantive problems with the perceived notion of beauty in the world today. We feast on the failures and collapse of humanity through voyueristic television and media frenzies.  Like the car crash during a NASCAR event, we can’t help but watch, because it breaks the monotony of our everyday lives going around in circles.  When one darling of the media has fallen, we move to the next, breaking their soul, questioning their lives, movements and every calorie they consume. I think more than anything the media has created celebrity sensation for the sheer fact that they are not in the business of covering news first, but making entertainment before the other guy.

Subliminally there is a great revolt occurring against the media and news.  Our generation doesn’t trust the news anymore. It is viewed as comercially biased and tailor consumptive to us.  Facts are squashed between hearsay and negativity. Amongst our peers, we are well informed and culturally aware of the world around us– and why is that? It is because we sought out what we wanted and read it because it was interesting to us.  Humor, factuality, technology and the world around us appeal to a good segment of  ‘Clan Generation’. The internet has provided us with the oppritunity to consume what we want, not what is made for us, and this is a major problem in the context of our world today.  We are told that if we don’t like it, we can turn it off, -so we do, in droves, because we are informed and tired of being innundated.  The Britney’s and the Kirstie’s of the world are beautiful, not for the self-indulgent destruction that the media portrays to us, but rather a throwback to the asthetic of what they look like. Let’s leave it at that.  I don’t care about if she’s gained a pound or shaved her head.  A rose is a rose no matter how many thorns it has or pedals it has lost.  I am tired of the drivel and mundane pressure to be told that one thing is this and another is that.  It is time for media to make a decision for survival- and to rise above the trend of commercial sensational informationalism and return to the roots of broadcasting standards and objectiveness. Give empathy, positivity, factuality and most importantly the news.  Otherwise if I want your opinion I’ll ask you for it.